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What I Will Be

from Call Me By My Rap Name by Pat Battle

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lyrics

[Verse 1]
My demons roll shotgun with me
We'll bleed into a brick wall at light speed likely
When life is ejected from the front of the Intrepid
My crash-test-dummy soul ghost ride the whip
Split ripples in the windshield, my shit'll spin wheels
Get them gears grindin' like a coal into a diamond
The cherry in America's pie, it's been busted
I knew it reminiscin' on the visions as a chitlin'
The shit that pipe-hittin' babysitters used to do to us?
Duct-tape over the face? Ain't nothing' new to us
So I dedicate the bluest to my sister
My Black heart bleeds - She ain't even a mister
But if all I had to do was sport a Windsor and just differ
From the average nigga, then I guess I wouldn't be a nigger
Thinking everything I do oughta be quicker, bigger, slicker
'Cause my lips thicker, roots run in this dirt a little richer
Off the Richter - Shakes me to my core, I can't ignore it
They flaunt it, and I want it, but doggonit, can't afford it
That peace of mind, knowing that just everything is fine
Where sanity is vanity, I'm going out my mind
Am I mentally disturbed? Or culturally deterred?
Or discouraged - Nightmares recur, dreams deferred
Sinking deep as worms, in the depths of all the dirt
Peeking at the heavens through the crevice of the Earth like

[Chorus]
Gimme all your hate and I'll take it to the heart
And bleed back the Black, in the very very end I'll
Be what I will be
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

[Verse 2]
Go distress over the pledge while I step over the ledge
Emotions in my head? They hurry you to yo bed
It must be something I said, 'cause every time that I speak
My tongue rip through the cheek like teeth, you want no beef
Robot Foghorns ain't brave enough
To embrace the slave rage, so our race is stuck
They take away our safe space, chain us up
Bondage, as if we ain't been raped enough
Now do we suffer from depression or maybe just life's lessons?
The pain hurts and the adrenaline is impressive
I'm festive in group settings, I thank the Academy
When alone I feel the gravity ravage me with its savagery
Paranoid as fuck, hungry for validation
Starved for some regard as an artist within this nation
Or better yet a human, by the looks of what they're doin'
I'm a dude to be pursued for brutalism and ruin
I got suicidal quotes for when my human vitals slope
Here's my lurid final note for any tourists on my boat
If by hanging from the rope they designated for my folks
Or blooSo kying bathwater, whenever I'm goner
I'ma wander 'round these haunted towns, ghosted in this armor
The offspring of a janitor, grandson of a farmer
Karma make me king or put a comma on the drama
Ain't a marijuana plant potent enough to kill tomorrow, so

[Chorus]
Gimme all your hate and I'll take it to the heart
And bleed back the Black, in the very very end I'll
Be what I will be
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

[Verse 3]
Okay, all these motherfuckers say they ride for the cause
As soon as you ask them if they'd die for the cause
They shut the fuck up, 'cause that rough type of stuff
Is better left to caution-to-the-wind type friends like me?
Wait, I mean, you think I could be?
Effective in this course, like an elective, but respectively
If Kanye and Kelly Conway can have some say
Then my middle class ass is saying all bombs away
Palm the arms that you bought from the pawn shop today
And blow your own fucking brains out
I'll scrape the bloody stain off of the wall
'Cause the way I'm really feeling often y'all
Is like kidnapping rappers, tying up and offin' them all
Ain't a tool you could use to put a lock on my jaw
So if rap's dead, I don't care who shot it in the head
So long as I, Black guy, survives some apartheid
The negro spiritual will never end gentlemen

credits

from Call Me By My Rap Name, released October 30, 2018
Written By: Pat Battle
Performed By: Pat Battle
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Pat Battle Chicago, Illinois

Make Rap Dangerous Again.

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